the love i allot for someone, unideal as it may seem, will always have a limit. sometimes i ponder on all the things i've done and given for the person i love and wonder why it's still not enough for him to realize my significance. I have been Disappointed and broken many times but i continue to understand him. My mind thinks of letting go,but my heart embraces him tighter... i am confused and hurt, as he has always left me... i feel like there is nothing left of me to recover my life. i have done my part and as the saying goes "if you love someone, let him go...if he returns, he is yours, if he doesn't, he never were". a new journey is affixed in me now, to reconstruct what has been shattered... to piece the bits and pieces of myself, of my heart. to start all over and be a better me...so the next time i meet him, he'll see the real woman he has given up on. A woman who has loved and got hurt, but despite that, managed to be whole and continues to love...
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
cycle of life
Saturday night(april 5), i had coffee with sarah, ruth and papa ed. i haven't seen them quite some time because everyone was so busy with work and family. i somewhat miss our high school days when we saw each other everyday. we had lunch together, copied assignments from each other, hung out and gossiped during class (hehe. those were the days). Now, it's all different. some have a family and child to take care of, others focus on their blooming careers. it's obvious that our priorities now are different. Even our conversations had gone profound; from talking about hotties to discussing financial concerns, from petty girlish issues to serious family matters, etc.
you can see the prominent physical, emotional, psychological and even spiritual growth of each of us. you can also see the burden in grown ups' eyes, fatigue from work and family. i miss our innocent, smiling eyes when we told of our shallow/unforgettable experiences when we were younger. at the same time, i am also glad that we are full grown ups now. because now, we have a different understanding of things, a much deeper understanding of why things are the way they are. they say, we have more wisdom because of age and experience. we act maturely and decide rationally now.
when i think about it, is it really a blessing to mature and become wiser with age? they say that the older you get, the more freedom you have...but is this true? is an adult more free compared to an innocent child?
*an adult decides based on rationale while a child decides based on impulse - who has more freedom? everyone will excuse a child but not an adult who lives under the dictates of a society.
*wisdom or innocence - which do you prefer? with wisdom, you are bound to your conscience and to the ripple effect of your actions to others. on the other hand, if you are an innocent child, you are excused in whatever you do.
i know that this is the cycle of life - born, mature, then die. many desire to gain knowledge and wisdom but for me, i still (somehow) desire the life of a child; innocent from all the misdoings of the society and freedom (in the sense of having freedom from guilt) in anything you do.
you can see the prominent physical, emotional, psychological and even spiritual growth of each of us. you can also see the burden in grown ups' eyes, fatigue from work and family. i miss our innocent, smiling eyes when we told of our shallow/unforgettable experiences when we were younger. at the same time, i am also glad that we are full grown ups now. because now, we have a different understanding of things, a much deeper understanding of why things are the way they are. they say, we have more wisdom because of age and experience. we act maturely and decide rationally now.
when i think about it, is it really a blessing to mature and become wiser with age? they say that the older you get, the more freedom you have...but is this true? is an adult more free compared to an innocent child?
*an adult decides based on rationale while a child decides based on impulse - who has more freedom? everyone will excuse a child but not an adult who lives under the dictates of a society.
*wisdom or innocence - which do you prefer? with wisdom, you are bound to your conscience and to the ripple effect of your actions to others. on the other hand, if you are an innocent child, you are excused in whatever you do.
i know that this is the cycle of life - born, mature, then die. many desire to gain knowledge and wisdom but for me, i still (somehow) desire the life of a child; innocent from all the misdoings of the society and freedom (in the sense of having freedom from guilt) in anything you do.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
crony day (but i met a hottie! hehe)
my tuesday flight was in hongkong and i flew it with laine, harold, and *jonas. ;)
we were delayed due to generator problems in the domestic airport so we had to wait for two hours. i kind of messed up big time since they assigned me as R1 - the one in charge of the flight deck and crew meals. and since i never really reviewed the duties of an R1, i wasn't able to do my job well - i forgot to heat the crew meals; i didn't give the crew their drinks and food; i forgot our first officer's take home meal, etc. in short, i screwed up. hehe. good thing they were all nice ( not to mention that one of them is exceptionally cute :D hahaha! ) anyway, to sum everything up, my day went well. i had fun during the flight (harold is definitely the KING of fun flight games! :) ) and i knew more about other FAs. ( corny noh... haven't gone out of town in a while e)
anyway, im planning on touring (naks!) san juan, batangas with grace, carlo, tammy and mai.
it's not yet definite but were making plans already for this weekend. i hope we can push through with this because i'm really itching to go out of town. hehe.
we were delayed due to generator problems in the domestic airport so we had to wait for two hours. i kind of messed up big time since they assigned me as R1 - the one in charge of the flight deck and crew meals. and since i never really reviewed the duties of an R1, i wasn't able to do my job well - i forgot to heat the crew meals; i didn't give the crew their drinks and food; i forgot our first officer's take home meal, etc. in short, i screwed up. hehe. good thing they were all nice ( not to mention that one of them is exceptionally cute :D hahaha! ) anyway, to sum everything up, my day went well. i had fun during the flight (harold is definitely the KING of fun flight games! :) ) and i knew more about other FAs. ( corny noh... haven't gone out of town in a while e)
anyway, im planning on touring (naks!) san juan, batangas with grace, carlo, tammy and mai.
it's not yet definite but were making plans already for this weekend. i hope we can push through with this because i'm really itching to go out of town. hehe.
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